He is currently enrolled in the top business school in the Philippines, De La Salle University (DLSU) on a Doctoral tract in Business (DBA Program) while participating in international basketball and volleyball for the country. He served as the treasurer of the Multicultural Business Association, a member of the Governmental Relations Network, and has served as a collegiate intern with Ernst & Young learning high-level consulting business practices. Benjamin is an alumnus of Miami University from Oxford, Ohio. Benjamin is the Director of the Global Affairs, currently based in Manila, Philippines. Baker & Associates – The Business Hospital family of companies. If you’re interested in learning more about the Men’s counseling, or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our Men’s counseling page for detail.Benjamin Phillips III is an intelligent and innovative Practitioner for the Dr. When you can get to that point, it will be a lot easier to risk vulnerability and ask for help.Asking for help will not be the death of you not asking for it might. When actually, checked out with those you perceive to be critical, you may find it isn't so.You can also stop empowering people by giving them your power to criticize or judge you. Usually, it's irrational thinking, spun by a mind consumed with fear and exposure. You'd rather not set yourself up to look vulnerable or weak, at the expense of the greater benefit(s) of having asked for help.Being open to asking for help will actually empower you, if you can risk the thought of looking like a fool or being open to criticism. Think John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, the Marlboro Man, the modern tech entrepreneur and other iconic "wolves."The old adage "cutting your nose off to spite your face," applies to lone wolf thinking. We've woven lone wolves into our psychology from the beginning. Men are indoctrinated from birth to be "self-sufficient," to "be men" and to "pull your boot straps up" and get the job done. The goal is to let go of the "lone wolf" thinking and learn to be open to risk asking for help.And there are certainly cultural constrictions to asking for help for men. Often times, a parent is inconsistent or unavailable when children need them most, so the clever child devises "survival strategies" that make them "self-sufficient." This may have worked as a kid, but quickly gets outgrown when dealing with adult difficulties that don't use that "kid" software anymore. Then, what resources have you lost at that point?"Lone wolves" usually don't grow up in an environment conducive to getting the need for help met. Maybe the laundry machine goes from a $5 fix to a $500 one. It's also possible that you are seen as aloof and uncooperative (read: "not a team member") by your colleagues when you don't ask for help. Maybe your physical health degrades to the point that things take a turn for the worse, and your medical condition is irreversible. This is a direct blow to our egos, and we also set ourselves up for that criticism from others (at least that's what we're telling ourselves).What are the consequences of this "lone wolf" thinking? Maybe your marriage falls into worse shape for not calling a therapist or marriage counselor. If we ask for help, we put ourselves in the "down" position and have to be open to having others help us. Dealing with relationships, be they personal, professional or intimate, often end up needing outside help.Īt work, maybe the fear of being seen as incompetent, stupid, or lazy prevents us from asking for help. Men want to feel successful in all aspects, and the thought of not doing it the right or successful way leads to failure.So why, then, will we go to great lengths and not ask for help from others, even at the expense of hurting or self-sabotaging ourselves?Too often, there are things that you can't do yourself - no matter how hard you try. “I can do it by myself."I'm sure every guy has thought this about a variety of tasks and challenges in their life.
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